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  Coaching        Telecircles        Hearling Each Other Groups        Free Mediation        Mediation with Jan        Group Facilitation  


Telecircles are groups that meet via telephone. Everyone in the group dials in to a central phone number and meets in a "conference room". Both of the following groups are facilitated and have a specific focus. The conference number and group updates are provided to members. Both groups welcome new members and have simple and clear membership parameters.

     Mediation Telecircle:   "Practice with Peers"

                  Practice Group Facilitators Telecircle:   Peer Support  

Mediation Telecircle

'Practice with Peers'
we practice mediating

couple in mediation

Each Wednesday (USA time zones)
Round Robin Session: 5pm - 7pm ET
One-Chair Session: 7:30pm - 9:30pm ET

This is a mediation practice telecricle for those who have taken a set of mediation classes from one of the following: Ike Lasater, Kay Rung, Liv Larsson, John Kinyon, Jan Blum, Jim and Jori Manske, Shantigarbha, Newt Bailey, or Lisa Montana. Currently, members include mediators from Australia, Canada, Guam, New Zealand, USA.

Our purpose is to practice mediating conflicts and learn from our own experiences. There is no "teaching" or "coaching" on the calls, this is an open space for people to learn mediation through experimentation and practice.

Mediators are free to ask for support at any time, if desired. They can also request feedback after the mediation, if they choose. The feedback request can be specific or general. Opportunity is given for each person on the call to debrief, sharing their personal felt experience without evaluation of the mediator's skill.

There are two weekly sessions: (1) The Round-Robin session offers the mediator 15 minutes in the mediator chair and then a debriefing; during this telecircle, there is usually time for four different people to mediate. (2) The second session is a One-Chair practice where one mediator takes the conflict for the entire practice period.

For either session, we can accomodate many people by dividing into separate calls. We keep things streamlined by asking for reservations so we know who to expect on the call and can plan the flow accordingly.

The telecircle is facilitated by Jan Blum: "My facilitation consists of convening the circle and setting up the conflict. After the mediation practice, we debrief so everyone has a chance to learn, ask questions, and deepen understanding."

Learning Objectives:

  • develop ease in being with strong emotions
  • increase ability to hear feelings and needs
  • gain facility in differentiating needs from strategies
  • get comfortable interrupting
  • discover your own rhythmic style
  • experiment with various tools
  • make requests with ease and confidence
  • gain comfort and skill with transparency
  • develop rapport with conflictants
  • stay in touch with your own needs while supporting others
  • whatever else a mediator wants to learn
  • two guys arguing


    Our time is spent primarily in practicing mediation. The mediator sets the intensity knob on how the conflictants play their roles. The mediator can also ask for support at any time.


    The participants usually choose the conflict to be mediated. This offers another layer of learning because it gives people the opportunity to have one of their own conflicts played out. Often, a person has the opportunity to play him or herself as well as the other conflictant. This kind of roleplaying is often supportive to understanding and connection, as you receive empathy from the mediator and the other person.


    After each mediation, we give space to whatever the mediator is wanting to learn from their experience as mediator. The mediator makes the requests for the information desired during the debriefing. The feedback is offered in self-responsible ways rather than as criticism, (so, it sounds something like, "when I heard xxx, I felt xxx, and that had to do with my need for xxx"). Mediators can request that they only hear the things that worked, or express their desire to receive no feedback, or make other specific requests of the other participators. Our emphasis is on creating a safe, choiceful environment in which to experiment and learn at our own pace.

    Fee Info: FREE

    More Information

      if you'd like to join the telecircle, or if you have questions or concerns

    Practice Group Facilitators' Telecircle

    "Peer Support Call"

    9:30 pm - 11 pm ET
    First and Third Tuesdays of each month (USA time zones)

    This call is a peer telecircle for those who are currently facilitators of NVC practice groups. We share questions, things we're trying in our own groups, learning edges, successes, and requests for support.

    group     people     people     people

    Wonder what other practice groups are like? Looking for new ideas, a peer community of other practice group facilitators?   This is a place to bring your ideas, your curiosity, your despair -- and trade with others. We have a structured format that is flexible. Because this is a peer community rather than a class, we choose our own format, our topics, and we share facilitation among ourselves.

    We offer each other compassion and support on the calls, and we ask that requests for deep empathic connection be handled outside the telecircle calls. So, our group time is spent in learning from and with each other rather than in empathy sessions focused on one or two people.

    Sample topics:

  • Where do you put your energy when you're giving empathy and someone else gets triggered?
  • Responding to challenges
  • Interruption skills, including moving through fear of the other person's reactions
  • How to create a leaderful group (moving out of the "expert" role)
  • Group mechanisms for exploring conflict within the group
  • Ways to approach and organize role plays
  • Hearing how we each describe needs <> how do we talk about needs?
  • Kinesthetic Ways to learn NVC
  • Various meeting formats
  • NVC orthodoxy -- do I stick to orthodoxy or how far do I move from it?

    Jan Blum, our background facilitator, sends a group email prior to each telecircle and serves as general support or mediator when requested. The calls are peer facilitated and responsibility for the group rests with those participating. If you are currently facilitating an NVC practice group and would like to check out the Telecircle or join the group contact her at:    

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    with Jan


  • Determined to increase your communication skill and want personalized coaching??

  • Are you wanting support in reclaiming parts of yourself that you've sacrificed along the way?

  • Moving through grief or making transitions?

  • Facing some difficult choices?

    RealTalk coaching embraces the now ~ what is real for you in this moment.

    Together, we move from the feelings to the underlying needs that are asking for attention. By creating space for what is, we allow both hemispheres of the brain as well as the body and all its minds and memories to begin working in harmony. This releases the grip of the past, eases the tensions of the present, and melts the fears of the future. During each session, we build new memories and skills for staying totally present with yourself. From this simple, yet powerful, consistency, springs the wisdom of your whole being. You will create choices and opportunities for yourself that you never imagined and that fulfill your deepest desires. You will integrate traumas and experiences that have defied resolution. As you become adept at being gentle with and present to yourself, you will free up your energy to be present to what is alive in those around you, and you will use the same skills in communicating with them that you use with yourself.

    I have traveled this same path, moving through deep grief and pain, wondering if I would ever resurface and regain the energy of full health. My experiences inform me as I listen deeply to you.

    My coaching style is very different from most coaching, and certainly different than counselling. The wisdom for your actions comes from within yourself rather than being suggested by me. My role, as I see it, is to support you in getting out of your own way so you can fully be who you are. We tame jackals (those voices that hold us back) and learn to receive the gifts they are offering. Everything we do is based in compassion, being real, deeply listening and connecting to the needs that are wanting to be filled.

    I accept a limited number of coaching clients. Coaching is available in 12-week packages. One free sample session.

    Call Jan at 208.724.4877.

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    Free Mediation Service

    In the "Practice with Peers" Mediation Telecircle, there are several professional mediators who have joined a roster to offer free mediation services. These mediators have developed mature mediation skills and are either seeking to expand their experience or would like to give back to the community. To explore if this service would work for you, contact Jan, "".



    ~ a facilitated conversation ~





    ~ Couples

       ~ Groups

          ~ Families

             ~ Neighbors

                ~ Co-workers

    'HEARING EACH OTHER' Mediation offers the possibility of a completely different outcome to conflict.


    The goal of this form of mediation is for each of you to fully hear the needs of the other. This allows YOU to be fully heard in the way that you want. I also ask that you each set aside the strategy that you want to see implemented, at least until you have each heard the other person fully. As soon as this full hearing is achieved, you naturally begin, together, co-creating the solution that meets the needs you both have. This happens automatically with full cooperation and caring. The results are usually far different than anything you could have imagined, and certainly different than what a mediator might concoct.

    The mediation may take one session or several, depending upon the variables in your situation and how the participants respond to the process.

    The outcome is different because I do not suggest any strategies or weight the outcome in favor of one solution or another. I do not make any decisions about who is right or wrong. I do not negotiate between the parties or encourage compromise. I focus entirely on supporting each of you in being fully and accurately heard by the other person. Because your collaboration comes forward voluntarily, and you create the solutions together, you end up with strategies that work for both of you and that you can both consistently support.

    My role is as facilitator and my skills are used to support you in breaking through the defenses and pressure of the conflict. You are the creators. The results are what you create.

    Call Jan at 208.724.4877.

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    Build trust and understanding in your group

    Gentle, respectful, powerful



    work or community

    A group of community leaders in a Hearing Each Other Circle

    Faces have been hidden because this circle involves a highly controversial issue and is ongoing

    When trust and understanding break down, group cohesiveness disintegrates, productivity drops.

    HEARING EACH OTHER Circles offer a process for building trust and respect. The focus is on figuring out what each person needs to be fully satisfied and motivated to work together. The process is gentle, supportive, and extremely powerful.

    If HEARING EACH OTHER Circles are used to build and maintain open communication in a group, this prevents sudden, unexpected crisis from erupting. Once a crisis has developed, the Circle is a powerful way to reunite the group. People that like each other, usually are much more dedicated to what they are creating together.

    Once groups have been initiated and become functional, they can be group-maintained. There are also models for integrating on-site facilitators for long-term sustainability of open communication.

    HEARING EACH OTHER Circles have been used to resolve community-wide disputes that have even broken families apart and they have been used within the family itself. The form is versatile and very powerful. It draws on the skills of REALTalk and Circle processes. For situations where a crime has been committed, Restorative Justice Circles are a related process that can reconnect the people involved.

    Call Jan at 208.724.4877.

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    Group Facilitation and Workshops
       with Jan and Marti

    We help people hear each other.


    Are people in your group edgy?

         dealing with covert power struggles?


    Are communication challenges compromising the effectiveness and productivity of your team?

    some serious moments in a workshop with law enforcement people

    I work with Marti Monroe to present REALTalk workshops about communication and we help groups put the tools into action. In addition, we present regular monthly workshops (see "classes") that are open to the public.

    We use the dual approach of building relationships and skills in general as well as tackling specific issues or dynamics.

    Marti and I bring very different personalities and different, though similar, skills. Our differences are complimentary and they serve us well in supporting groups comprised of diverse individuals.

    We have done customized one-day skill and relationship building workshops, and we have done long-term visioning with skill and relationship support over a period of time. Let us know what your group needs! or, let's discuss the challenges and discover the best path together.

    We would love to come into your group and support you in co-creating a team that is utilizing its full potential.

    Call Jan at 208.724.4877 or Marti at 208.938.1339. We work together on group facilitation.

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